things are so so strange in my life right now. i'm in some weird warp of time and space. like in old, uberwensch philadelphia c.1993. i am currently serving on a jury for the entire week, which of course, i cannot discuss. just being in a different part of town, i run into sid, pete, jesse...i met with my new surgeon yesterday, who basically told me his approach to my boobs is going to be the opposite of what two oncologists and my surgeon have told me for three years. of course, his approach is much more aligned with my feelings about it, so i'd like to just take his advice. next week, i have vacation, so i will be out of my life. by living this other life, i miss my old life more, but not my current one at all. i need to start taking steps to make this life the one i like more than the past.

with the court system, and the doctors, and boys, and everything this week, i have to learn about patience and about waiting. i just wish i had a fuckling ipod while i was doing it.