the differences between most viewed and most emailed, boys and girls

i admit that i enjoy the yahoo news feature called photos. really, it makes me laugh that it is in the news section, because most of the photos are shit, and ridiculous stupid pop culture shit at that. the picture to the left, for example, are the mascots for the 2006, or 2008 i didn't read the fucking story or caption, beijing olympics, which looks like the picture on those weird sushi candies that anna gets for me in chinatown. i love those candies. DAMN. mmmm, gummy hamachi. now, i can't concentrate on my post because i'm thinking of bad candy. mmmmm, okay, focus. i blame the superfriends and the smurfs, and schoolhouse fucking rock, not starbucks, for my adult adhd.

ANYWAY, my point is that the yahoo photos are great for being, you know, shallow. and empty. and bad. i try to get a sense of what those humans find interesting (always on the pulse of america, i am). so what i really find interesting is the most emailed vs. most viewed pages. i mean, you could do a fucking dissertation in psychology and sociology about this. today, i broke down the two page ones of these features, and drew some conclusions.

ON the most emailed photos thumbnail page, there are 20 photos. Of those 20, seven are animal photos, four are of the hottie teacher in florida who is on trial for schtumpping her student and pleasuring him orally while his friends and cousins looked on (HOT DAMN, that's a story!), three are of cars and/or motorcycles which may or may not have a woman in a bikini on it, two are mariah carey's very ample bosom, two are landscapes, and two are of bush making a stupid face. so, for those keeping track at home, the animal shots win in the most emailed photos. cute animal shots.

however, on the most viewed section, SEVEN are of the blond teacher, three are of cars and/or motorcycles which may or may not have a half nekkid woman sprawled across it, two are of mariah's boobies, two are of jennie mccarthy's boobies, one of hilary duff sitting on a boy, one of lindsay lohan pretending to sing, one is of a dead guy in iraq, one is a weird shot of a church and two are of cutesy animals.

let's review, shall we? the most emailed photos are mostly of cute animals, like the ringtailed lemur above. clearly, the woman i work with are the ones emailing photos to each other and setting them as fuckin' screensavers, which just begins my fucking rage within, as you know. the most viewed, however, is like a little peek into every man's brain. NOONE knows what you view, right? i mean, you can just look at the yahoo news section photos in your history. so, my conclusions--boys view TONS more yahoo photos than girls. so they click on the teacher, think, 'dude she's hot. i would have been so psyched to have been banging my hottie teacher if she looked like that when i was 14. let's see another angle. and another one. wait, let's go back to the first one'. but guys, pretty much keep that shit to themselves. the occassional random dickhead emails a pic with the message text, 'DUDE, check out mariah's boobies.'  to me, the breakdown of most emailed clearly points to the fact that mostly women email photos to each other. like, 'AH, that's cute. i gotta send that to helen.' so, what do we surmise? women think about others, and what they might find interesting, and email that off to other people; whereas, men are self-absorbed pigs who enjoy privately getting off on jennie mccarthy or teachers who look like jennie mccarthy who do a little boom boom with 14 year old kids. but we all kind of knew that already, right?