rip bling

You know, i am not much for the gambling, well, except for the weekly football pool, and march madness, and, like, who is going to be the next apprentice, or america's top model pool or whatever. oh, and lottery. and, uh, blackjack. texas hold 'em. OH, nevermind, you know what i mean. i hate vegas. still, over at oddjack, they have a great bet going on: nba props: who's going to suffer for their bling? y'all know what i'm talking about? the nba has instituted a mandatory dress code for their players, like homeboy gotta be wearing a suit and shit. nah, it all good. it's just business casual. and by business casual, i mean, brothah can't even be wearing his bling outside his shizzle. damn. that cold. but the morbid sonsabitches at oddjack got allen iverson at 2 to 5 as the first nba player to be fined under the new guidelines. not for nothing, but let's take this opportunity to look at kevin garnett in a suit (marvel above). aaaaaaaaaah. that dude is, like, the most handsome man, ever. just look at him. go on. he looks like a statue.


still, back to AI and the hatorade that the world splashes on him after every victory. he's a good guy, he just has his own style, and do you watch him? he gets thrown around more than a midget in a midget tossing contest. all those big lugs elbowing him and shit. well, here is what allen had to say about the whole thing:

"Honestly, I really think that I will [keep the dres code]," Iverson said. "Once they start talking about suspending me, then I don't have a choice. I don't want them to take my money, either. I don't want to just give my money away. That's just like taking it and burning it.

"But when they start talking about suspending me and hurting what we're trying to do here as a basketball team, then I don't have (any) choice but to abide by it."

it's a mature response and all, i mean, he's not giving his money away to the nba, because lawd knows they don't need it. later in the article entitled Iverson says he can conform to dress code, allen notes:

"I feel like if they want us to dress a certain way, they should pay for our clothes," Iverson said.

"I don't think it's good for the league. I really don't, because it kind of makes it fake. The whole thing is fake. You've got all these guys with different personalities. Tracy McGrady is different from Kobe. Kevin Garnett is different from Tim Duncan. And I'm different from those guys. Everybody has their own style. It's just unfair when you take that away from people."

Iverson was especially bothered by the section of the league memo prohibiting players from having "chains, pendants or medallions worn over" clothes.

"Basically they're saying, `Don't dress hip-hop,' " he said. "What does a chain have to do with your outfit? A lot of guys wear chains with their religion on them or personal things. I have chains with my mom's name on it, with my kids' names on it, a chain with my man that passed away on it, and I don't think that's right for people to say that I can't express it. I think they went way overboard with it."

you know, it is unfair. it is unfair that the corporate fucking machine makes us conform to their little insipid shows of power and control through our dress. it is unfair that they are making us sheople by making us shop at the fucking gap, and live on planet reebok and shit. it is unfair that i have to fucking wear business clothes all fucking day in my fucking cubicle, allen, and i can't show my shoulders, or ankles, or heels. here is the thing, though, about the nba BUYING your clothes for you. listen, allen, you make 12.4 million dollars. TWELVE POINT FOUR. MILLION. DOLLARS. A. YEAR. broken down, this is $6200/hour. i shit you not people. this means, for all you keeping score at home, i make .4% of allen iverson's salary. ain't no nba buying my shit for me. math is not my strong suit or anything, but for $12.4 mil a year, i think i can say, SHUT THE FUCK UP and WEAR THE DAMN KHAKIS, JACKHAT. i mean, come on, that is like a fucking 2 hour commitment to not wearing bling. of taking your fucking job seriously. i agree that me not wearing my "your retarded" t-shirt on a daily basis to the office is sort of fake, but that's what i have to do to pay my rent and feed my childun. it's life, allen. that's what fucking happens when you grow up and stop playing games on the school yard. oh, wait, right. nevermind. bling away, yo.
anyway, in other related interesting factoids about how much my life sucks compared to ai, while i have been writing this blog, allen iverson has made $733.66 and i have made a whopping $3.03. that hasn't even paid for my latte. you can calculate that in weber grills at this site. well, you too can see how much the rich and famous make compared to you here at salary wizard. it is a very cool program, but i just want to say i hate everything.