the 6th level of hell: abercrombie & fitch. at christmas time. in a new jersey mall.

it's not that i particularly hate the young, beautiful and skinny. granted, i am old, ugly and fat, so there is a sense in which i have an almost existential sense of the fuckuppedness of it all now. a grander understanding of the huge cosmic joke which is a becoming a 30+ year old woman in a world that makes prepubescence and anorexia sexy. friday afternoon, my sis and the kids and i headed over to the cherry hill mall to fully grasp what hell is like, all its circles. it's divine comedy, so to speak. no, it was fine. fun to be with the family. but you know, i really am afraid of teenagers. i cross the street. look at the tops of my shoes, pray to sweet baby jesus that they don't steal my credit cards and then mock my sense of style and my lack of understanding of the crazy shizzle that comes out of their perfect little mouths. so imagine my horror and surprise when walking by abercrombie and fitch, i see in the doorway a male model with no shirt on, and a female girl, both hot teenagers posing. here is my sister and my exchange:
"holy fuck." i said, "i hate those people."
"oh, it's much worse than you think. they charge 15 bucks to get your picture taken with one of them."
"WHAT?!"
"yeah, 15."
"you'd think they'd get a prettier model for that."
"she's okay, i think the thing is she is young."
"who would do that?"
"teenage girls, i suppose."
"man, i should do that. that would be fucking hilarious. and when i go up and say, 'yeah, i'd like picture.' and they put the hot young guy next to me, i say, 'no, no, with her' and wink at her. perhaps i would get arrested for pedophilia though."
"that would be hilarious, but really really creepy."