humbug.

t minus 6 days until we celebrate the birth of our saviour baby jesus and all the angels sing and we celebrate by going to the gap for that one unique heartfelt gift that says, 'baby jesus died for your sins and all i got was this lousy t-shirt.'

current mood: a little george bailey at martini's bar, pre-clarence.

i spent yesterday trying to wrap up the shopping and the joy and fa-la-fuckin'-las. i'm almost done. i know i am forgetting people. i am forgetting things. it all seems so forced finding gifts, and tokens of your love. right now. and despite my pledges that i wasn't going overboard, i feel overboard. it doesn't seem enough. and yet it seems too much. why are gifts for my mom so hard to buy, for example? i mean besides the fact that she is ubershopper. she always gets what she needs, and inevitably says she wants nothing. or she says, sure get me slippers. and when you talk to her a week later, she says, "i just got the cutest slippers." anyway, just say something, am i right? like, yeah, for example, i have always wanted a marionette. a really creepy marionette that i can learn to do creepy things with. i am currently obsessed with scott radke's work. anyway, this would force people to look for one weird thing and not buy me a bunch of crap i don't need or want. i am bitter. i want it all to be easy. instant gift that gets my loved ones teary-eyed. it's not going to happen. i buy off of wish lists. i am just that kind of person.

it other scroogey news. santa wars as deposed father christmas fumes. this whole article is incredibly interesting. i am especially fascinated with the competition for santa of the world itself:

At the Games in Gallivare in Swedish Lapland, Santas sled, race reindeer-drawn sleighs, eat porridge -- with a splash on the beard earning instant disqualification -- climb chimneys and deliver presents under the watchful gaze of a panel of judges.

Horniblew said it all came down to the reindeer sled race.

"You go up two at a time, head-to-head," he told The Mail on Sunday.

"I was up against the Estonian and I won the race. He actually fell off his sleigh. But he got awarded extra points for falling in a particularly Santa-like style.

"I was pretty miffed at that, I can tell you."

holy shit, that's funny. but this is what upsets me, because most of you know, i really enjoy the seeing santa at the bus stop, drunk with a cigarette.

Uniformed Santas must not smoke, drink alcohol, or swear.

what?!?!? that is what christmas is all about in my family. merry christmas, you wonderful old building and loan!