ny times think of this hilarious practical joke with pig's blood at the senior prom.

i'm reading this article on the NYTimes with the headline: doctors removing growth from teen's face, because, well, i'm morbid like that, and read any article that sounds like it might have a freaky picture on it. article reads and i quote:

A 14-year-old Haitian girl underwent a rare operation Wednesday to remove much of a 16-pound tumor-like growth on her face that all but obliterated her features.

This is a sad, inspiring story of american medicine. a heroic one, one where obstacles are overcome. A 14 year old girl whose features are obliterated by a tumor the size of a three month old child is SO not getting a date for the spring formal. she is incredibly thankful. everything is going well. somehow my sympathetic false memories of having a carrie-like high school experience exude from my pores, and i think, i would be friend with you 14 year old haitan girl. i wipe a tear, sort of. seriously, i am touched, and then out of the corner of my eye i catch a moving ad, you know, how they are on every fucking page you click on these days. and i see this:

the nytimes is just fucking mean. ha ha, growth girl! in your face, ha ha. they are like junior high school boys, que no? can't find a better fucking page to put that ad on? not only that, it is a microsoft ad whose tag is something about evolution. can we be a little more sensitive, you fucking nation galaga shit head assholes. is this not the premise of like every john hughes movie. so, just for shits and giggles, i click on this story: the face of the future in thursday style section, and the ad on that page is for cartier's bridal collection. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. so the article about how extreme plastic surgery with a picture of a seemingly attractive woman covered in plastic surgery stuff gets a cartier ad, like you TOO can get married if you have extreme plastic surgery to make you look like a stepford wife. i have not the words to describe the levels in which this rubs me up the wrong way, and yet seems like something that would only make me mad. and you don't want to see me angry.